Organizing My Life...or at least trying to.

So the countdown to when I end my residency has started. I have 5 weeks and 5 days left. As I anticipate the change in my life that will happen once I am finally done with my training, I am left excited and a little apprehensive. For the past 8 years, my main focus has been on training to be a doctor and my wonderful awesome husband and mother-in-law have really been the ones "running the household." So, now that I am going to be done and am only working part-time and have some time on my hands...I am anticipating taking back the reigns in managing my household affairs (ie. cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, grocery shopping, ect). I am really really really excited about this! So, being kind of obsessive compulsive and a total nerd...I have been researching about how I can create an organized, easy to manage, non-chaotic household. I have been researching on creating monthly dinner menus, what foods are the best in terms of fighting cancer and heart disease so I can use them in my menus, how to be a coupon clipper, and the best way to organize your bills.

I have been learning a lot and here's some useful things to share:
1. Monthly Menu Planning. Many websites state that the best way to save money on your grocery bills is pre-planning a monthly menu. And for our family, JT is still going to do the grocery shopping as this is one main way we save money. (I am the impulse buyer in the family). =)

Useful website: http://www.paintedgold.com/Food/monthly-dinner-menus.html

2. Organizing Bills. JT has always been the one to pay the bills and manage our finances, but I know it takes a lot of time for him to do this. So, one way I want to be a "helper" for my husband is to free his time up so I am going to try to take this over. He is a bit apprehensive about this...in case I budget half the income for my clothing expenses. =) So, I have to do "training" with him for the month of September. I'm going to try the "Bills in a box" method. See below.

Useful website: http://www.ncnblog.com/2008/07/08/bills-in-a-box-the-stress-free-system-for-organizing-your-finances-introduction-step-1-of-5/

3. Coupon Clipping. Now, I always have heard of this as a great way to save some money, but have never had the time to pursue this. So, I did some research and realize it's a field of study by itself! There are so many websites out there with different tips. I think I am going to try the index card box method.

Useful website: http://tipnut.com/coupon-organizer-system/

If any one else has any ideas about organizing your household, please share with me!

Mommy vs Doctor

One thing that I have been learning in raising children and having a medical degree is that there is can be a difference between my medical knowledge and my mommy instincts.

This weekend, my 21 month old son had a pretty bad asthma attack....enough to send us to the emergency room at 2am and admitted to the hospital for about 18 hours. But the thing is that he was having symptoms earlier in the week. Monday started out with a cough...just a cough and a slight wheeze. My medical knowledge said...let's give him a nebulizer treatment and it's probably just a viral upper resipratory infection. He kept coughing but otherwise was fine all week. Then the day of his ER visit, he began wheezing more...my medical side said...ok let's give him nebs every 3-4 hours. He wasn't getting better...that's when my mommy instincts started telling me, things are not looking good... maybe I should take him in for medical treatment.

(Now this is when you see my true split personality come out)...My doctor side says, don't panic...would they do anything different in the ER?...probably add steriods. So I called in a script for my son for some oral steriods, kept giving him his neb treatments. But as I am doing this, my mommy side is shouting in my head...he's not getting better...I better take him in to be seen. But then my doctor side keeps trying to rationalize...I am giving him the treatment he needs...he'll get better, no need to drag him to the hospital in the middle of the night. There is a shouting match inside my head at this point. Mommy vs Doctor. But know what...as everyone always knows...Mommy always wins.

That is the valuable lesson I have learned as I walk through sicknesses with my kids...I will always go with trusing my mommy instinct. Because to my children, I am their mom...not their doctor. I am learning that I have a hard time being objective with my kids and their health. Yes, the knowledge I have as a doctor is helpful, but the instinct that God gave me as a mommy is invaluable.

Crazy Korean Beauty Salon

For all of you who have texperienced the Korean Beauty Salon madness, I totally empathize with you as I have just become the next victim. For all of you who have not...this story is to warn you - BEWARE and be on guard. Learn to SAY NO!

So, the story begins...I have been wanting to get a special type of perm, called a "Digital Perm" or "Digital Pahma" in Korean for about 1 year now. My lovely dad gave me a nice monetary gift for my birthday so I could get this perm. I made an appointment at a local Chicago Korean Beauty salon and was looking forward to this change in my hairstyle.

I went up to Chicago last Friday, dropped off my daughter at my parent's house, and went to the salon. I got there and told them I had come for my digital perm. Trying to be a polite person, I spoke to the workers in Korean - granted it was my 5th grade level broken Korean. As I was sitting at the beauty salon chair to start my perm, about 3 ladies surrounded me, poking and prodding at my face telling me all of the things that I needed/should get done to make myself look better. I couldn't really understand everything that they were saying and trying to be polite, kept nodding my head and saying "yeh, yeh". Somehow I realized that I had agreed to get my eyebrows dyed. Don't even ask how this happened! I'm not even sure myself. Well, first of all, they would not tell me how much it cost but kept mentioning what a great deal they will give me. This is where I should have said "NO!" and just gotten the perm. But my stupidity and naivete keeps this story going. I got my eyebrows dyed and my hair permed. The perm was great, but my eyebrows looked like someone had taken black inky paint and drawn thick lines over my eyes. As my husband said (of course once the eyebrows started looking better) that I looked like Groucho Marx with a unibrow. The ladies at the salon assured me this was normal and that the eye brows would fade in 2-7 days. Then they charged me an exorbitant amount of money.

I went home ashamed to look up b/c my eyebrows looked SO wierd! The next morning I called the salon and asked again are they sure that this fades. I had tried scrubbing them off and it was not working. My dad was calling me Cleopatra and my daughter kept looking at me strangely and told me that my eyebrows were "kinda scary." I was repenting all weekend for my sin of vanity and stupidity that led me to this point. I called the salon again the day before we left back for home and they again reassured me that it would fade.

And they were right...it is fading and looks OK. No more Groucho Marx unibrow. But man, what an experience! I will never ever walk into a Korean beauty salon without a person who can speak better Korean than me - or I just really need to learn to Say NO!

When I told my hubby about the money I had wasted on this stupid decision...he put it so graciously...consider it a tuition payment for a life lesson learned! =)

Too much stuff...learning to live simply

My breaking point...last Friday my husband and I went to our house to put away our clothes which had been brought back by the fire restoration people after being desmoked and dry cleaned. Well, when we walked into our home, what did we find? Our whole living room was filled with piles of clothes in plastic dry cleaning bags and cardboard boxes were stacked up around the perimeter. Our jaws both dropped as we tried to think quickly of how long it was going to take to put away all this stuff. So we tiptoed our way into the living room and made a strategy. I, being the woman of the house, and knowing what goes where would start going through the boxes and piles of clothes and organizing them into piles...while my husband, being the male, would use his brute strength to carry the stuff upstairs to their designated places.

Well, the madness began...and after the 3rd hour of opening boxes and seeing MORE baby clothes...more sheets and towels...pulling the plastic off another set of dry cleaning and finding MORE shirts, MORE pants, ect, I started feeling uneasily dirty/guilty/ashamed. Before God, I started thinking...is this right to have this much stuff? Do we really need all this stuff? How many clothes does a 17 month old little boy who rarely if ever leaves the house really need?

For the past 6 weeks since the fire, we have been living at my husband's parent's home with only a suitcase full of clothes that we took when we left our home. Yes, it has been a fashion challenge trying to live off of 3 pairs of pants and 4 shirts, particulary trying to mix and match them for work so it doesn't look like I'm wearing the same clothes everyday BUT I am realizing that it can be done.

So during this Passion week, as I think about the ultimate sacrifice that was made on the Cross and I think about my Lord and Savior who was crucified and His only item of clothing was taken from Him...I am convicted to live simply...to put boundaries on how much stuff I and my family can accumulate. How can I teach my children to live simply and for eternity in this materialistic culture if I myself have a living room full of clothes? So, what does this mean...a big giveaway of clothes in the near future...=)

Summersaults...only for the young!

Today I had one of those moments where you realize that you are not as young as you used to be. After work I was playing with my daughter and she was showing me how she learned how to do a summersault. Well, considering she is only 3 1/2, her summersault was not quite right. So, being the ever so helpful mom that I am, I tried to show her how a "real" summersault looks. I began to lay out cushions on the floor...as my husband is warning me to not attempt this...to remember the backbend incident. (I was trying to imitate my daughter in doing a backbend, and subsequently threw out my back). But the mommy pride in me tuned everything out as I attempted my summersault. Well, as I was squatting on my heels looking over at the long line of cushions on the floor, ready to put my head down and throw my body over to do this summersault...I started getting afraid. What if I really hurt myself? The ground looked a lot lower than I thought and I felt really big...if I slam my body down onto the ground, it really may hurt! This is when I realized that I am getting old. I have gotten scared to do a summersault.

Well...I finally conjured up enough guts to attempt the summersault and it went pretty well. I didn't hurt my back and it was kind of fun. Brought back memories of playing in my parent's basement doing "gymnastics." So, then my daughter and I started to challenge my husband to do a summersault. Of course, he refuses at which point my daughter who is 3 1/2 and me...who is much older...and should be more mature...call him chicken and dares him to do a summersault. So, instead of ignoring our taunts...my hubby, a typical male, attempts the summersault. He laid out even more cushions....and then he does his summersault and at which point I see his body being thrown threw the air, I hear a cry of pain from his mouth and he falls wimpering on his side. He had pulled his back muscle. At this point, my future physical therapist daughter runs to daddy's side with a korean back scratcher yelling, "mas-a-ge!...mas-a-ge!"

What is "Calling"?

It's interesting how as one gets older and life changes, sometimes your priorities and views of what it means to serve God changes.

This morning I got off my 1st out of the last 15 calls I have before my residency is over. It's exciting but also scary to start counting down to the end of my training. I've been thinking a lot more about this "calling" God has given me. I just signed my contract for my 1st ever real job...since working at the Gap Kids and JCrew during college is the whole of my current employment history...well, I guess I should also count the years of working the front counter of the family dry cleaners. I am really thankful for this job God has provided for me...in terms of family life, it is perfect. A 20-hour a week outpatient only, 1 call a month clinic practice. I will have much more time to spend with my kids, my husband, ministries, ect. But there is a little part of me that wonders if I have sold out. When I first went into medicine, I thought I was getting into this field to help people...but particularly people in the inner city or overseas. I remember saying that I was never going to be a doctor who practiced in a private practice in the burbs. But then I got married...I had 1 child...and then another...and then I started realizing that if I am working for the poor or overseas as a physician, serving the Lord in this way...who would be my kid's mommy? Who would support my husband in the ministries that God has called him to? That's when my youthful view of how I was going to use my "calling" as a doctor and the reality of my situation clashed. I realize for me that God called me to this career because it is so flexible that I can still use the skills He has given me but I can also have the flexiblility of being at home with my family. I realized that though on a day to day basis I may not be healing people in the third world, I can spend summers or vacations using my skills....I can get involved in my community's free medical clinic...I can financially give to support those brothers and sisters who are serving full-time. Because of this career, I can be part-time, spending time raising up my children for His Kingdom, spending time helping my husband with his ministry to international students. I realized that I am not selling out but at this present time, my calling to be there for my children and to actually start feeding my husband healthy food instead of carry out =) is foremost even above a callingto be a missionary doctor. In God's eyes I realize that one calling does not trump the other, but in His eyes it is about trusting Him...being faithful.

But who knows where the Lord will lead me in the future...which is truly the beauty and mystery of faith...following God step by step though sometimes He leads us to places we did not expect to be...we know that ultimately every step of the journey He uses to make us more like Him.

Back to Work

I just got back from visiting family out of town this afternoon and am now back in the hospital waiting for a patient to go into labor. Definately a moment to switch hats. I think many moms can identify with me on this odd feeling of going through life changing hats at a moment's notice. I went from being SAHM (on my week of vacation), taking the kids to Chuckie Cheese, trying to avoid the dirty look from the store employee at Gymboree while trying to sooth my screaming 1 year old (though you'd think they would be used to that at a children's clothing store...and considering how much business I give them, they should be more gracious), spending hours with my 3 year old drawing pictures and singing songs...to coming back home today and answering my pager (as I feed my again screaming 1 year old) and throwing on my scrubs to come into the hospital, I throw on my doctor hat. Oh, but I forgot, in between all of that, I had to throw on my wife hat and have a talk with my husband about the year end budget...which is always a lot of fun when you're trying to explain away those extra purchases at Ann Taylor Loft. Sometimes I feel like I have multiple personality disorder...or just feel like I am a blur in a 1 woman show trying to fill all the roles I'm assigned to play. I really need a vacation from my vacation or maybe I just need to get back to work...Sometimes it's nice to go back to work - especially when you have a 1 year old who loves to scream!